Saturday, February 1, 2014


11) "It's colder than a witch's titty." (How do we know this?)

10) "I swear!" (And yet it makes everything sound much more believable.)

09) "I promise, I won't tell anyone else." (If you have to make someone swear to secrecy, you probably already distrust this person a little. Don't tell them)

08) "If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times." (Who's keeping up this?)

07) "If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that, I'd be rich." (Remember, it takes 2,000 nickels to make $100.00. While $100.00 is very handy, it's hardly enough to make anyone "rich." Now imagine, how many times you would actually have to hear something to get rich by way of the mighty nickel.)

06) "I'm coughing my head off." (Coughing is uncomfortable, annoying, and sometimes painful-but your whole head? Right off your body?)

05) "I laughed so hard I cried." (While this does happen, most people actually tear up a little at most while laughing. It takes a really good laugh, to make one actually cry.)

04) "Hurry, I'm about to pee in my pants!" (It's certainly best to get to the restroom when you need to go, but is everyone really about to actually pee in their pants before they can get to the restroom?)

03) "I could've died!!" (Could you? Could you really have just died by something as simple as hearing some sorted information?)

02) "You're giving me a headache." (Is someone really giving you a headache, or are they just annoying the hell out of you?)

And the number one lie people tell to make a point -determined by me, and comes in several forms is...

01) "You almost gave me a heart attack!" "I nearly had a heart attack!" "I thought I had a heart attack!"

(Think of how many times you would have nearly had an actual heart attack, or thought you actually had a heart attack over your lifetime, if this were a true statement.)

Enjoy, Barrelassers :)