Tuesday, December 17, 2013

FIVE THINGS THAT WILL HAPPEN IF I WIN THE MEGA MILLIONS

This list does not include all of the wonderful things I would do for charity and the needs of humanity. That's just a given.

 1) I'll buy an island for luxury vacations and private parties. On second thought, no private parties; what fun would it be if I owned my own island and couldn't show it off to people who were obviously not invited? I will call it Barrelassin' Isle.

2) Buy Miley Cyrus some pants. Every time I see her lately, she's wearing her underwear. 
3) Buy Bethenny Frankel's friendship. She already owns all the alcohol. Besides, I'm going to need it for all the parties I'm going to throw on Barrelassin' Isle.


4) Travel the globe with V.I.P. passes to all the 80's hair bands' concerts. Kind of like a groupie, except I won't have to sleep with any of them. I will be the one with all the money, so they'll have to have tickets to my after party.

5) Launch my very own Parachute Pants line...well...just because I could.


Enjoy, Barrelassers :) $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$