Thursday, October 3, 2013

NASHVILLE'S FINEST

Catching up on my 'bethenny' before I go watch my Barrelassin' son play some football! By the way, can I just say first that it makes me a little crazy to type "bethenny" without a capital B. I've struggled with it more than once and usually go with the capital B to keep my head from exploding. That being said- I'm working on the lowercase b since that's the way it's written in the title of the show.

Now that I've got that off my chest, a lady on the show during the Frankel-y speaking segment of the show was talking about her clip on ponytail coming off in a guys hands while dancing at the club, and it reminded me of a situation I had with my Barrelassin' sister and my Barrelassin' bestie!

Let me set the scene for you- my sister was supposed to be driving from Tennessee to New York to visit her then boyfriend. She packed up her bags and headed down the road. An unfortunate sequence of events lead her to throw her hands up and give up on her trip before she even got out of the county. I suppose now I should be calling it fortunate, because it turned into a really good time for us.

I think my Barrelassin' Momma was already irritated that my sister was going to drive that far away from home by herself and had already let her have a good piece of her mind before she left, I think she was irritated by leaving later than she had originally planned, and then to beat it all- she was within miles of the interstate when a dump truck drove by her and flung a rock into her windshield, cracking it in the corner. This sent my sister into a whirl. She called me at work crying, because her entire day was essentially going to hell. She was talking so fast and going off, which was completely  unlike her. She exclaimed, "To hell with this! I'm not going now! I don't even wanna drive that far anymore, but I'm by-hell going somewhere. I have time off work and I'm getting the hell out  of this town!" I listened to her rant and then introduced a solution. "Sooooo, why not wait until me and Barrelassin' Amy get finished working, which won't be long, and let's drive to Nashville, TN. It's only a few hours from home, it's an hour earlier there and....the bars are open until three a.m." She was immediately in!

Somehow, Barrelassin' Amy and me ended up throwing back a few before time to leave and now Barrelassin' sister was driving us to Nashville. We checked into out hotel, changed clothes, grabbed a cab and hit the town wide open! On our first stop, we were sitting at a table drinking, laughing,and listening to the music. We weren't in a place with an actual dance floor but there was a cute, older couple dancing in front of our table. He was holding her, swaying her around- we were thinking what a cute couple.

It was around that time that the man decided to give this lady a whirl and "dip" her. In my mind, this all seemed to happen in slow motion- as did the beer that sprayed out of my mouth once I saw this lady get dipped by this man, facing directly toward us and making eye contact while giving us a huge smile, have her wig fall off of her head and onto the floor. Our first reaction was laughter, but in a situation like that- you have to collect your thoughts and remind yourself that this woman has to wear a wig. We instantly felt sorry for her, after all, she probably has cancer and she and her husband are having a wonderful time twirling around the place.

It wasn't long before we wondered where in the hell her husband went and how she ended up sitting at our table. After we helped her make sure her wig was on straight and not to worry, people probably never even noticed, one of us asked her where her why her husband was hanging out with the rest of the bar and not sitting with her. It was then that she explained to us that he wasn't her husband, she didn't even know that man and he had pretty much made his last appearance when her wig hit the floor. She then proceeded to inform us, without any prodding from us, that she doesn't have cancer or anything- she just likes to get gussied up on the weekends with her wig and lipstick and hit the town. And then, and only then,were we allowed to laugh uncontrollably. Here we were feeling terrible for this woman, having cancer and her husband now ignoring her and now the joke was on us.

If you've never been to Nashville, Tn and saw a wig fall off a woman's head while being slung around dancing- I strongly suggest you try it. I'm sure it happens all the time. I see something equally as funny every time I go!

Enjoy, Barrelassers :)