Friday, October 23, 2015


Well I certainly started this morning off in my typical "Lucy" fashion, no surprise there.
I woke up early and very sleepily put on my husband's old high school, football sweatpants...with no drawstring. (I actually think they may be wrestling team sweatpants but, Wrestling Follies would be a stupid title.) I added a long t-shirt with a sweatshirt over that and topped it all off with a pair of giant, white, fluffy, flurry looking, boot style house shoes.

This was the outfit I chose to drive my daughter to school in. Not a problem, nobody is really going to see me, right? And anyway, I don't actually care if anyone sees me looking like that at that time of day. It's early and cold and that's a great excuse as far as I'm concerned. 

Everything was going off just as planned and I dropped her off at school without a hitch. And since I don't care about the look I'm sporting, I make the decision to stop at the busy little gas station and order myself a biscuit for the ride home. That's when it happened. I grabbed my phone, keys, and money, up in my hands and started across the parking lot. I paused briefly to turn and lock the car doors using my key fob... and at that very moment, my pants gave way BIG time! In a split second my sweatpants dropped to my knees right then and there. I felt the cold air sweep across my butt just before I grabbed them as quick as I could  wrangle them with my full hands and pulled them up. I immediately looked around quite frantic at all the other cars in the parking lot and didn't see anyone else as I scanned quickly. However, it's also very possible that I just blocked them out due to humiliation, or that my mind automatically did so in order to protect my heart from failing. I can still hear that little scream I squeaked out.

I was really hoping that nobody in the store saw what happened, and given that there was nothing in the world that I could do about it now-and I wanted that biscuit more than I didn't want to suffer the embarrassment, I waltzed right into that station, laid everything I had in my hands up on the counter, adjusted my clothes the best way I knew how and told the lady at the register with all the seriousness I could muster, "my pants just fell down in the parking lot. I sure hope nobody saw that." I completely owned it. I had no other choice.
She kind of laughed but mostly looked confused. And then I picked up my belongings and walked to the back of that station up to the grill and ordered my biscuit like a boss!

I pranced back up to the register and paid the cashier. I thanked the lady and she told me to have a good day. I looked right back at her and told her I was going to go home and put on some real clothes and walked out the door. Like it was your average, everyday, most normal conversation in the world. Like nothing had ever happened. 

You're welcome, Barrelassers ;)

Wednesday, October 21, 2015


We recently traveled to Los Angeles, CA. for my barrelassin' daughter's seventeenth birthday. That's a long way from Tennessee, especially when two out of five people in your group leave behind anything resembling a bathing suit for beach day. We make a fantastic mother daughter duo!

Naturally, we had to go shopping for swimsuits. Swimsuits that we could only use to sit in sand and take silly photos with because the water was a little too cold for our liking. It could have been worse, though. We could have had to purchase a blanket on the pier because we left our beach towels behind as well, along with our favorite sunhats. Oh, wait, We did that, too!

Did we have enough sense to buy a beach umbrella to lay under and relax while we gazed at the ocean? Of course we did! We spent twenty five beach minutes picking out that twenty five dollar umbrella. We opened that thing up like we knew exactly what we were doing and stuck it in the sand.That was mere seconds before a large gust of wind came along and sent me running to catch it as it turned itself inside out and nearly pulled me off the ground. This was not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to go parasailing, but whatever works I guess. That was officially the only use we got out of the umbrella before we packed it neatly back into its packaging. We bought two sunhats to go with our beach blanket and umbrella and couldn't use those either for more than two minutes. Those blew off of our heads every single time we put them on. Whatever, that's plenty of time to take a few pictures.

Santa Monica Beach and Pier with Barrelassin' Momma!

During this trip, I found myself in need of a very specific bra to wear with a specific dress, so I bought it. Unfortunately, during the purchasing process. the sales associate had to go price check another item and in turn, I bought the bra with the deactivated theft proof plastic thing a ma jiggy still on it and spent days trying to pry it off to no avail. I tried every MacGyver trick that I could think of and I had simply had enough. I was wearing that dress come hell or high water, so I pranced myself right down to guest services at our hotel and requested maintenance and tools to settle this problem once and for all. And by "settle this problem" I mean that maintenance accompanied me back to our room where we all stood  around slightly embarrassed watching a maintenance man remove that thing a ma jiggy, setting the imprisoned bra free from it's tiny handcuffs. I've called maintenance a lot of times over the years but, that's definitely the first time I've ever had to call them to come and fix my bra.

And I wore that dress with that bra like nobody's business!
If you think it can't get any worse... hang in there. I flew from California to Atlanta and went swiftly into another hotel room to rest my weary head a bit before the drive home the next morning, only to wake the next morning with missing luggage. I was baffled. All five of us recalled it coming off the hotel shuttle and even off the elevator. So where was it? Luggage thieves in the night? Not likely. A quick call to the front desk and they got right on it. They soon called me back to let me know I had left my luggage outside of my room in the hallway all night long and security had rescued it and it was currently residing downstairs in luggage prison.

Enjoy, Barrelassers ;)

Thursday, October 8, 2015


So next up, me and Barrelassin' Momma and the barrelassin' kids are headed to California for my daughter's seventeenth birthday celebration. This obviously requires lots of planning and cooperation from everyone involved. Less than forty- eight hours until we leave and this is where I nearly derailed. Because no matter how old I get, I'm not setting Fancy free. (Maybe tomorrow, though.)

While trying to wash and pack everything I would need for such a trip I wondered if I still had a set of unused false eyelashes somewhere. I think I looked around for mere seconds before I noticed my faux leather pants hanging on the rack in front of me. Oh yes! I almost forgot! I've been meaning to try those on and see if they still fit me since the last time I wore them just over a year ago on my fortieth birthday.

For the record, I was not wandering around like this.
Obviously this was the first time I wore them ;). 

Great news! They totally fit. But, I still needed to see how my butt looked in them before committing to them and adding them to my many, many, other piles of clothes that I swore I was not taking this time. I do this each and every time. I say, next time... I'm not taking many outfits on my next trip and lugging it all around. The last trip I actually had to go and buy a duffle/duffel bag (super don't care for the correct spelling of this word anymore. Apparently I can spell it either way in the last decade.) on wheels to get my shoes home because I shopped while away and had no more room for them.

Anyhoo...I wandered toward the bathroom mirror because I've recently decided the one in my bedroom is nothing but a skinny mirror and is a liar. My butt looks nothing like it does in that particular mirror. At least not in any other mirror here-maybe they're both wrong. So I'm on my way to the bathroom and then...SQUIRREL! Not unlike the many squirrels I've chased just telling this story, I stopped and finished loading the dishwasher, made a phone call, answered some Facebook stuff, took the sheets from the dryer and took them to my room. I then put clothes in the dryer, brushed my hair because I had just added my faux color to it before I ever thought about my "faux" eyelashes, which is probably what me think of those in the first place come to think of it. I cleaned out a purse I haven't carried in a while, found my lip shine and just had to see how that looked and then had to pee. It was THEN that I finally made it to the bathroom and remembered that I had started that way a long time ago to look at my real butt in my faux leather pants. I had been all over the house doing one thing and then the next wearing those things, and I still have no EYE-dea about those dang eyelashes.

Enjoy, Barrelassers ;)


Dotting west, Deborah Allen, and not too many moons ago, Darius Rucker. Sigh...good times.

Monday, October 5, 2015


I once told Lee Greenwood, the day after he first won Male Vocalist of the year... I might add, and that I did not wish for him to sign the first page of my autograph book because I was saving it for Charlie Pride. Barrelassin' Momma was embarrassed, just as I would imagine I would probably be if I were my own child. Lee took it like a man. He simply turned the page to the second page and admitted that he didn't really blame me.

I was also eleven years old walking around Fan Fair, now known as the CMA Festival, much, much larger than it used to be, with a Michael Jackson "Beat It" hat on my head and the only people who appeared to care were the ones with me because it had nothing to do with Country Music. I think they were embarrassed but that all ended right after they told me I would never get anywhere near Charlie Pride and I showed them that being a child, I had things much easier than they had it. For instance...I walked through the mob of people trying to get to Charlie and not one person said a word. Nor did they say anything to my mother trying to catch me. Charlie not only signed my book, ON THE  FIRST PAGE RESERVED FOR HIM...but he signed a poster for me, posed for a photo, rolled up the signed poster and hit me on top of the head and informed me that he, too, liked Michael Jackson.

If I hadn't humiliated my mother enough during that week, as luck would have it I had signed up for The Osmond Brothers' fan club the year before. And for that entire year I received fan letters from them. Not special fan letters but- the same letters typed out and mailed to everyone else on the list.
So when we just so happened to be in the same place as they were  while being lead into the building and escorted to their booth as we were on out way out, I literally grabbed and swung on one of their arms as they walked to the booth, shouting all the way, "Hey! Don't you know me? I'm Mickey!! You write to me all the time!!He didn't dare let me down...literally. He walked and let me swing and so politely informed me..."I sure know you now, Mickey."

This was the same year that I met Loretta Lynn, Dottie West and the dang Dukes of Hazzard! All of those fine folks from Hee Haw and so many more of the greats. The one person I didn't meet that year...and it broke my little heart because I thought since he had a booth there, I was supposed to be able to meet him, was Johnny Cash. And I had my June Carter Cash impersonation down and ready! I was so upset that he wasn't there to greet me like I thought the book said he would be, and so I bought the most gigantic pair of Johnny Cash socks you ever did see. I even wore them around with my "Beat It" hat. They were white and came up over my knees with a black ink printed autograph. Naturally, I thought he must have signed them before I arrived. (I did later get to meet their son and that was the next best thing.) But I also had an argument that Keith Whitley's name was pronounced like "Whitely" as in the color?? I told that silly lady who clearly knew nothing, that he told me as we spoke and he signed my poster, the one I later thought was silly and threw away, that his name was pronounced like the color. I don't know where I got that, and I have no idea why that poster hang there for so long with his signature and one day I decided to replace it with a million rock n roll posters. Other than I was clearly out of my head because at this current say in time- I would give almost anything to have it back!! It wasn't until I was 14 years old that I fell madly in love with Keith Whitley and hated myself for that. But I also fell in love with Ronnie Milsap again and... I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Don't even get me started on the Bellamy Brothers. Heaven help us all!

Enjoy, Barrelassers :)


For my whole life I've been in love with Kenny Rogers, Well, him and Eddie Van Halen.
Kind of the same, right? Anyhoo- the only reason I'm not a bad-ass guitar
player today, like Eddie Van Halen, is because the guitar teacher wouldn't teach me to play
Lucille, by Kenny Rogers, after two lessons. I quit! Right then and there!!
I went on to sing the song over and over from the slide of
my swing set for anyone wondering. I'm totally famous for it.

Lane Brody- Nashville, TN. Yellow Rose?...I think so.

The Kentucky Heaadhunters could not have found more heads to hunt
than half of our group trying to sit on their lap that day.

This photo would not need words if it were not for the fact that
I stood there with my little Barrelassin' Hannah Banana just to get a glimpse-
when a very nice lady gave Hannah her ticket to get in the actual line to have a photo made.

Jack Ingram <3 <3. I made him sign my photo...
"Love you, Mickey!" Because he probably does anyway...right?

Barrelassin' Momma with Mel Tillis. She just told him who my
father was (whom I had not yet met) and standing from the Jack Ingram booth, I took the picture.
She was pretending to not have said anything haha. 

Filming a promo with Taylor Swift and her band on
the steps of the Ryman .
Super nice of them to throw water to us. It was very hot!!
That man said Taylor asked  them to come out and give us the water :)

My lawd! Hank lll. Me and the hubby are fans of
his. Met him earlier than this and he called
Barrelassin' Momma for us to say hi :)

Barrelassin' Momma had met his daddy, Hank Williams JR. when
he was about 14 yrs old. <3 him!

Conway Twitty's son and daughter with
Barrelassin' Momma and Hannah Banana! Love Conway!

So happy to have this picture of Randy Travis! He is so timeless!

Barrelassin' Noah and the Naked Cowboy.
Nashville is too much fun!!


My Van Halen tattoo went to Nashville, TN. 2012
to see the boys!! 

2ND ROW! Had to go to Nashville and sleep for several hours
the night before these went on sale!

Magic fingers! Eddie Van Halen- 2012