Saturday, February 14, 2015

50 SHADES OF HATERS- I MEAN GREY


LMBO! I have seen more uproar over this book and movie. It is 100 % hilarious to me that people take things so seriously. I've yet to see my male friends promote this book or movie as anything interesting. It's the women I know who are loving it. I haven't read the books and I will not get to see the movie tonight with my girlfriends and my daughter and their daughters- because I'm out of town. No movie or book as ever made me try to be something I'm not, that I didn't already have interest in being. And I am raising my daughter to be herself as well. I personally know plenty of women who apparently enjoy what this book is promoting. Not because they are victims of someone forcing them to do so, because it's what they desire. It doesn't make them bad people. It's strictly their preference. And most will tell me that it isn't every day routine in their sex lives, but occasional, and fantasy. Get a grip, people. I'm watching Bad Boys right now, and so far I have no desire to be a hooker, a cop, go on any high speed car chases, shoot at anyone, or become a drug lord. And guess what? I'm still enjoying the movie.
Anyone claiming this movie is promoting the wrong message, is obviously susceptible to being a victim. Grown- ass women aren't so stupid that this movie is going to hurt them. If they watch and want to go home and get handcuffed to their bed, so be it. What this movie is promoting is clearly what some audience wants to see. Our daughters aren't stupid, either. I raised my daughter to know how to handle herself in her own individual situations. And the character in this movie isn't the first college student to have a relationship with an older billionaire.In the movie and in reality!! That includes male and female. What these people are actually saying for women is quite opposite from what they think they're saying. They're certainly not giving women, young or old, any credit for making their own decisions. As if we're a bunch of mindless bodies roaming around following whatever the movies and books tell us to. If that's you- you need to talk to someone about it. Otherwise, the rest of us strong, independent thinking, decision making, capable, sex having women, will see whatever movie and read whatever book we choose. And thanks to all the negative hype, the movie will now probably make $9 from me jsut so I can see if I can leave without becoming a victim.

 Enjoy, Barrelassers wink emoticon

EDDIE VAN HALEN WAS MY VALENTINE'S DAY PRESENT! NOT TOO SHABBY!

WHO GETS THE BEST VALENTINES DAY HUSBAND AWARD EVER? I think mine! For driving 7 hours, a day early on the chance that I could see Eddie Van Halen get out of a car or something. Guess he was as surprised as I was!!!
Okay- full story. My phone blew up and I tried my best to document every moment for myself on that darned phone! I Found out Eddie Van Halen was going to be speaking to a limited number of people at The National Museum of American History in DC on Feb. 12-2015. My Barrelassin' son, Timmy, is at Tech School an hour away from here so I planned our weekend visit one day early so we could at least go to the museum on the same day as Eddie. Reservations were free, but were gone in 3 minutes. Who cares? I can try it. I was wait listed. And I wait listed Jay and all my friends, mom and sister, too, just in case. Barrelassin' Jay said I was crazy. He's right, I am.



 We went to the museum and were told there was no need for me to wait, there was no way anyone wait listed would be let in. I hatched a plan. I told Jay we'd still stay at the museum, like we planned to do anyway, and when they were about to close at 5:30 (he was speaking at 6:30) we'd go hang around the area until they made us leave, hoping to catch a glimpse of him coming or going. Even people with reservations only had a reservation to stand in line- no seat guarantees. So we were hanging out on a bench pretending we belonged there since it was after 5:30 and nobody had kicked us out yet. I guess they weren't making anyone leave anyway. Some guy comes walking by to the restroom. He asks if we're going in. I explain we're wait listed and were not likely to get in. He reaches in his inside coat pocket and hands me his guest pass. He had reservations and it was extra guest pass. I KNOW!!! RIGHT?! He said he only had one, but we could have it. Naturally Jay was gonna stay outside so I would have hope of seeing Ed, my lifelong hero. But I told him to stand in line with me. They came down the line with the opened seat wrists bands and I explained to such a nice lady that I had a guest pass, but my husband was wait listed. She said he was the only one inside the building on the wait list. About 10 people ahead of us they stopped the line and apologized to everyone because they were full. She explained that we were all welcome to hang out and attend the ceremony afterwards and have a drink and food and meet Ed. I nearly died lol. She says they'll bring special armbands out to us.
All of a sudden they come back and start giving armbands and letting a few more in at a time. We get to the NICE lady and I ask about Jay again, she says "I think we're just gonna go ahead and let everyone else in." (The 4 people behind us were staff and 2 of them had already let us in front of them for no reason.) They check my "friend's name" who gave me the guest pass and I'm good to go. One lady says I can go but Jay has to stay out. NICE lady says we're letting him in. They get into an argument in front of us. NICE lady is shoving us saying "just go on." Other lady is saying "we're not letting wait listed in!!" NICE lady says to her "SO AND SO IS HOUSE! AND HE'S GOING IN!!" (Not revealing her name.) Thank Heavens for whoever SO AND SO is!

 We go in and are told to find a place on the wall, but if someone yells fire, we should run, because there's a few extra people in there. So on the wall, we have an even better spot. Eddie is interviewed on the stage- Alex Van Halen and Wolfgang Van Halen are sitting there watching. AMAZING! They're (the staff) all like, hang out after and have a drink and some food, Ed will be out there, too. So now all of a sudden we have free beer and wine and food.WHAT?!?! We walk out and get right in line cause we need a beer and are waiting for Ed to appear somewhere. People in line start showing up with beer. Turns out the beer is on the other side. So I ask, "what is this for then?" Oh, this is the line if you want to meet Eddie and have a photo made with him, I'm told. Oh, how silly of me. I'll stay in this line. So we take turns getting beer and staying in line. Which moved pretty quickly. I was all laughs with everyone and super strong girl- until that lady said, "your turn" and he waited for me to walk over and I started crying. I tried so hard not to. The moment I started walking toward him, I was overcome with my emotions. You need to remember, this has literally been my dream for more than 30 years!! Do you have any idea how many people I have written to since I was a 10 year old girl trying to meet Eddie Van Halen lol?  He pet me for a second, said "awww, don't cry." He was SO KIND and patient while we tried to wait for me to gather myself just a little so we could take the picture. Then he told me to smile. I told him I was trying to, but I had basically waited my whole life for this. He smiled and it was a comfort to me. Then Jay got his made. Someone tried to make me move on while I waited for Jay and my phone and wiped my eyes. The bodyguard said "She's okay with me." heart emoticon 

Then, we freaked out and froze our butts off and couldn't move our fingers by the time we walked/ran to the metro station and found our way back to our hotel shuttle. We hadn't eaten since 6:30 a.m. so we ate- and now I'm going to bed. Best Valentine's Day early start weekend EVER! As I ran across the busy street on the phone, I told my bff on the phone as I ran across the street- "If I die in this crosswalk, it's because I posted earlier that life is complete and I'm jinxed. The truth is, I told my husband, I went to bed that night feeling so at peace. Like, it had been my biggest dream in the works for over 30 years. Now what? Nothing. And that's fine. I mean, I have things I want to do and places I want to go, but that was literally my biggest dream. And now I've done it. I honestly feel relieved that it finally happened. Obviously I would love to do it again, and probably say something more meaningful than "I've waited my whole life for this" and "I've got a Van Halen tattoo" to him- but it's finally complete. I can't think of  anything else that I can dream bigger at this point. I felt so honored to be in the same room with the Van Halen brothers and Ed's son, Wolf, other than in the concert halls, obviously. 
 Enjoy, Barrelassers wink emoticon

Monday, February 2, 2015

WHY I'M ALWAYS SO DAMN TIRED!

Whew! 2014 was a heck of a busy year, but that didn't stop me from piling a little more on myself for 2015. I worked really hard and was finally able to launch my greeting card store online yesterday morning . I'm not very tech savvy so my brain is pretty much fried. Check it out! The first six cards have been added to the store, but plenty more are on the way.
Thanks so much! Like the card below? Check out a few more at http://www.barrelassincards.com/
Enjoy, Barrelassers :)



Thursday, November 27, 2014

THANKSGIVING ROCKS!!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! This world could use a little humor during times like these.

Enjoy, Barrelassers ;)

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

SWEET 16 MY A$$

You'll have to please excuse me, I'm still in shock over my oldest son turning twenty-one years old. I mean, it's not like I didn't know it was going to happen, I just didn't expect it to happen so quickly. I kind of thought I could will it away with my super mom powers, but no such luck. I was very happy  for him to have a birthday, I would just prefer it be a number of my choosing and turning twenty- one wasn't the number I had in mind. I was thinking something more along the lines of twenty again. I know I should want him to be little again, and sometimes I do, but he has come a long way since then and let's face it, those were the terror years. I kind of like him being able to make his own sandwiches and having the ability to explain to me what the problem is without all the crying until I guess the appropriate response! It's much better this way, I just don't want him to be legally allowed to drink. Not that I think he's a big drinker, or going to be one; I just think this is the last line being crossed into official adulthood and I do not like it.

My youngest, my daughter, is very close to turning sixteen and, as all children tend to do, she assumes it will be all about her. She has been telling me about all of her plans for her sixteenth birthday and frankly, I just do not approve. She wants some sort of a cabin party. Meaning that she wants to rent a cabin and have all of those other little sixteen year old girls come over and spend the night and scream and yell, watch movies,talk about boys and blah blah blah. Let me first clarify that we do have a house. She even has her own bedroom. So the fact that I am being asked to pay good money to rent another house in the same town for them to sleep in seems a bit absurd to me.

                                                     


The other day while trying to nicely explain to my daughter that I would like to throw her a Sweet Sixteen party, it occurred to me for the first time that this is not all about her. This about me. Sure, we celebrate her every year on this date but I don't really think the score is even when I lay it all out in front of me. She informed me the other day that it's not my birthday and therefore not my decision. This is when the light bulb went off for me. I then asked her exactly what she did on this day sixteen years ago to deserve a party in her honor. She was a little taken aback at my question and speechless for the first time in the sixteen years since we've become acquainted with one another, so I answered for her. "Nothing. You did nothing. I did all of the work. You were absolutely no help to me at all as I tried to squeeze your little human body out of mine so that I could be one with myself again. The only thing you did was hang around in my womb reeking havoc and sucking me dry of nutrition while making me piss my pants every time I had to sneeze or cough. I think I should be the one celebrated  on this day."

No doubt thinking that my sanity had taken a complete leave of absence, she responded by telling me that is what I have Mother's Day for. She was not born on Mother's Day, and neither were either of my other two children. Which is not only stupid and the wrong date , but brings up another wonderful point. I have three children- so why on Earth do I only have one Mother's Day? Wouldn't it make much more sense if when each of their birthdays rolled around I got a cake for all of my hard work, not to mention my pain and suffering leading up to those days? I think I should definitely get some sort of monetary compensation for the time I spent growing another human inside of my body! Kind of like how people get paid to do experimental drug programs. Ya know? Just to see how she turned out. After all, she has cost an absolute fortune just to maintain and keep her alive over the years! I don't know about the rest of the mothers out there, but at the very least I think I should get double billing on the party invitation or the program for the big event. And just for the record. Nobody is sweet at sixteen.

Enjoy, Barrelassers ;)